InsertCleverThingHere

I have a life mission.

It is to get every person I know to watch duck dynasty. If you aren’t watching this find it, watch it, and proceed to laugh your ass off.

You can thank me later.

I’ve managed to have a completely stressful “holiday” weekend.

I had to work on Saturday.  I have a presentation on Wednesday for the executive committee.  My boss knew I was coming in and asked me to leave the presentation on my chair for him to get.  In the midst of trying to get it complete I found an error.  A big one.  You would think that its not that big of a deal because we haven’t presented it yet.  Well, I also prepare an update that goes out to the executive committee monthly that has some of this information in it.  It went out on Thursday.

I go so upset.  I cried.  I sat at my desk, in an empty office and cried.  Everyone that I work with will tell you that I’m really good at my job.  Unfortunately even when you are really good at your job when you are trying to do way more than you have time for mistakes happen.  My boss is insane.  I love him to pieces, but he is wound tighter than a top. He makes me stressed out.  

I got up at 5 in the morning at went to work again, by myself, hungover from my birthday, and on a holiday.  My boss came in at 2 and asked me where we were.  I had to tell him.  He freaked out.  He isn’t mad at me.  I think he is disappointed in how it all happened.  He said I should have called him.  

 This job is weighing on me.  I’m having panic attacks at night.  I get to the point where I can’t breathe.  I cry because I absolutely dread going.  I’m a very happy person, even when I’m not.  I always try to stay positive but I’m having a hard time.  People are noticing.  I get a lot of “hey are you ok? are you sure?” People have told me that I look melancholy.  I just want me back.  I want to enjoy things again.  I am hoping to hear about the job I applied for last week soon.  That’s a whole other conversation I don’t want to have with my boss.

Bye 25.

Today is my 26th birthday. 25 was the year of the job. I worked more last year than I ever had. I worked more than I thought was physically possible. I’m still trying to learn balance, maybe that will come during 26.

I met some people that I now consider my best friends. People that I love more than anything. I’ve lost touch with some people, and that’s ok. I’ve gotten closer with others.

I did not fall in love, I’m barely sure I fell in like. I absolutely fell in lust.

I bought a car and a house. I paid off my credit cards, and I spent money I probably shouldn’t have. I saved some too.

I lost weight and I gained weight, but ive figured out how to be comfortable with where I am and what I have to do to change it.

I have no idea where I’ll be at this time next year. I’m betting I’ll be at the same house with the same core group of friends. I think I’ll have a new job, or something will have majorly changed at my current job. Who knows. 25 was good, but I’m excited about 26.

Tickets to boulder are bought.

I’m giddy with excitement.

Don’t mind me, just making life decisions over here

I work for an insurance company, kind of.  I work for a government contractor whose parent company is a huge, huge insurance company.  We will refer to the parent company for the duration of this post at “corporate”.  

I work with a girl (M) who’s husband (D) works at corporate (we are all in accounting).  I have to work with D a good bit for different stuff.  Basically a job in D’s department at corporate.  He asked his wife if she thought I would be interested.  Her and I talked about it and before I knew it D had already talked to his manager’s manager.  The job was posted internally and wasn’t intended to be posted externally for a while.  M text me after work and told me to spruce up my resume because the job would be posted externally the next day.

 It’s no secret that I am…frustrated…with my current work situation.  I was hired for one job and now I am doing something completely different.  When I started this job I had a “side project” that took up about 25% of my time.  I also implemented the accounts payable department (we moved it from corporate).  AP was not part of my job when I was hired.  I now spend about 80% of my time on this “side project”, 20% on AP, and 25% of my time on the original job.  If you do the math thats more than 100%.  That’s because I consistently work between 10-25 hours of overtime.  Sometimes more.  I try to be positive at work, but this side project and AP were the parts of my job that I hated.  Now they are my job.  My issue is I LOVE the people I work with.  They are some of my best friends.  We all make so secret about it that the people are the reason we have all stayed.

I know, I should talk to my boss.  I’ve done it.  I’ve tried rational, I’ve cried like a crazy person in his office, I’ve tried pissed off, I’ve tried not giving a fuck, I’ve tried working 90 hours a week.  He is the type person who does care in that moment, but as soon as he needs something it doesn’t matter what it takes to get it.  So I applied for the job.  I know I will get an interview, but if (when) i do I have to tell my boss.  He is the CFO of our company and no manager would interview me at corporate an not do him the courtesy of calling.  I’m not looking for a job per se.  This just happened.  I’ve got the impression that this job is basically mine for the taking though.

He will offer me a promotion.  He will offer me money, and probably a lot of it.  Neither of which I want or important.  My title is good.  I make enough money to live comfortably and enjoy my lifestyle.  I know I just need to buck up, tell my boss, go to the interview, and let life take its course.  Everything will work out how it is supposed to.  I’ll stay where I am, or I’ll go to corporate.  Either way I’ll be happy, and I’ll be damn good at my job.

So I just wanted to get that out.

I just updated my resume and sent it to a headhunter I have kept in touch with the last few years.

Scares the living shit out of me.

Another thing.

stop copying my boss on all your emails. He’s the CFO of the company. I have a hard enough time getting him to read all the necessary emails he gets, so it doesn’t help when you flood his inbox will bullshit request to me. Especially when you are a temp who is just trying to kiss ass.

By the way - I’m not a huge fan of today.

Things that piss me off.

I generally get to work before everyone and leave after everyone. Whatever, that’s fine. But there is a group of women who do data entry who get here super early (so they can leave super early) and they make SO MUCH MONEY, because they are dinosaurs and have been with the company forever. Well they get here early and literally gab about American Idol for a solid hour. Get the fuck to work. And they staple all day, which sounds like a machine gun.

Happy hump day.